Read time: 7 min.

I was diagnosed with Bipolar II disorder during my first year of college. I’ve really struggled at times, but I’ve managed to keep my head above water with medication, hobbies, therapy, and other mechanisms over the past fifteen years. Sometimes, I’ve only barely managed. I’ve been feeling pretty low over the past couple weeks, but writing helps. So do my cats: meet Dr. Disco and Dr. Zulu, my adjunct counselors.

Disco came from a barn. Far from commotion, my brother found her alone in a laundry basket under a heat lamp and adopted her on April 4, 2020. He moved in with me the following year, and Disco became my cat, too. She likes adventure when she can watch from a distance, but dislikes it when she’s forced to participate.

I adopted Zulu from the Blackford County Animal Shelter on November 14, 2022. My brother John held her first, but she rolled over for belly rubs when he handed her over. I’ve never heard a cat purr as loud as Zulu did! She likes silliness and dislikes dignity.

Dr. Disco and Dr. Zulu are on retainer, but they’re flexible: their payments come in treats, warmth, and fluffles. I grew up as a dog person, but their presence around the house has been a godsend during some of my brain’s deepest depths. I’ve been jotting down journal entries as part of our informal therapy sessions over the past year, and here they are.

December 23

I went to the Delaware County Historical Society to print and mail the newsletter around nine, but locked myself out at ten. I got back inside and managed to print and collate nine hundred sheets by four. I was exhausted when I arrived home! I tried to take a nap, but the focus of all my naps is whether Zulu is comfortable next to me. I spent two hours petting and rubbing her belly as she stretched and dreamed about whatever it is that cats dream of.

Still exhausted, I clambered out of bed and made dinner. I expect Zulu to climb up next to me again when I returned. If she does, I’ll put her comfort secondary to the necessity of falling asleep. But only by a little.

December 13

I might be crazy, but I think talking to the cats is important. I do so to an embarassing degree. Zulu usually sits on the TV stand to greet me when I get home. I say hello, then I ask her about how her day went. She meows, and I tell her about how pretty she is and how I’m glad she’s safe and warm here.

Disco usually climbs up on my desk as I work on my blog. She’s wise, concerned, and comforting, even if she’s only four and always tries to sprint into the garage when I’m not looking. I end up telling Disco about how beautiful and hairy she is. I also remind her that our secrets are safe with me until Zulu gets good and ready to hear them.

December 12

I’ve only been there for two days this week, but work has been trying! All day, I kept telling myself that it’d only be a few more hours until I could drive home, work on the blog, eat dinner, land in bed, and have Zulu take hold of my finger like she was eating corn on the cob until we both fell asleep. Zulu doesn’t let go until we wake up. I’ve never bonded with a cat friend this much!

December 2

Thank goodness for cats. I was mad at some preventable family drama and got close to popping off when I returned to my computer and saw Zulu. Sprawling across my keyboard is one way she acts as my editor! I’m happy to let her use it while I cool down, as long as she remembers I can see her search history.

October 22

Today is Disco’s fourth birthday! We celebrated the birthday girl with some no-salt-added turkey from Fresh Thyme. Disco got her fill, but this household adheres to my Grandma Marlene’s tradition: each participant gets to participate, so Zulu got some turkey too. So did I.

Disco seems content to spend the rest of her birthday evening sleeping at the foot of John’s bed. She was happy there, but I rousted her out for a post-celebration interview. She was displeased and declined comment as I took her picture on the kitchen floor. Lesson learned: never wake up a cat when she’s full and snuggly, even if it is her birthday.

October 21

You wouldn’t know it when she’s all curled up, but Zulu is half rabbit. She must be- those big old feet of hers just propelled her through my living room like a torpedo! I sat her favorite toy -a stuffed taco- next to her while she was sleeping earlier. She wrapped her tail around it.

Zulu has the most expressive tail of any animal I’ve ever seen. When she’s sleepy, she jams her leg in my solar plexus and wraps her tail around my arm to lock herself in for the night.

June 17

I have a pair of old Chicago Bulls basketball shorts that went missing after a trip last year. I figured I’d find them eventually. A couple days ago, I dropped something that rolled under my sectional. I tilted it back it and found them, sort of wadded up, with two stuffed mice and Zulu’s taco and dynamite stick! Mom thought it was gross, but I didn’t: Zulu made a nest!

I replaced my shorts with a different pair, but she’d already found an unexpected new favorite hiding spot: the bathroom sink.

March 20

Here are three things that scare Disco in descending order:

3: Thunder. She will dig a hole through your skin, first clap, as she anchors herself to your torso.

2: The vacuum: she descends to parts unknown until half an hour after I finish sweeping. Then she demands treats for her resilience.

1: Life-size animatronic pizza robots that, as far as she was concerned, were completely immobile.

February 9

I let Zulu jump on my desk as I was typing out tomorrow’s blog post (I hand-write them all by quill and scroll). What did the little stink weasel do but fart in my face, hop down, and run away to some distant room! I can’t work like this. Unfortunately, I have to: she’s my editor.

January 11

Disco only seeks me out to climb on and snuggle when my brother isn’t here. When she does -early in the morning when it’s still dark out- Disco makes herself comfortable and kneads her blanket. She kneads for a minute or two at a time, and it’s impossible to deter her. Sometimes she’ll do it twice. All cats probably knead blankets, but I love it when Disco kneads mine.

Cats may have a reputation for being standoffish and independent, but that’s not been my experience. When everything’s fine, their daily blooper reel keeps me on my toes and laughing. When I’m deep in depression, Disco and Zulu provide emotional support and companionship. Caring for them gives me a sense of structure, and that’s crucially important for me. Even brushing them and hearing them purr distracts me from the depths!

Three years ago, I’d have laughed out loud if you told me that a pair of cats would become such an enormous part of my life to help keep me away from the precipice. Things have changed, though, and I couldn’t imagine life without them! Dr. Disco and Dr. Zulu aren’t just pets. More than anything else, they’re what make my house a home. I love them both!