I love having cats around the house. Disco and Zulu have been a balm for my mental health in ways I’d never imagined! They’re more affectionate than any other cats I’ve met, and I find solace in caring for them and watching them go about their days. A lot of times, their days involve chasing one another. Unfortunately, the pursuit occasionally leads to disaster. 

Younger and more mischievous, Zulu often initiates the chase by darting across the room with lightning speed. The excitement triggers Disco’s skittishness and prompts her to flee as fast as she can. The cats weave and dart between chairs, end tables, and pizza robots. It’s dizzying to watch! 

I had a front seat to the spectacle a couple Fridays ago. Fueled by the excitement of the chase and the thrill of the hunt, Disco and Zulu swapped the lead with each lap they made. Their speed increased until disaster inevitably struck. I’m not going to name names, but one of them misjudged the turn around the shelf where my pipe rack sits. My favorite Boswell hit the floor with a resounding crash. I found it in two pieces.

Discovering my broken pipe hurt. I’ve been puffing on Boswells since my earliest days as a pipe smoker! My dad introduced me to them. Despite a lifetime preference for Petersons, he stumbled upon J.M. Boswell’s unique Minie Ball Pipe and even wrote about it in Guns Illustrated 2011. “For my money,” he said, “they’re among the Top Ten finest makes in the world.” 

I started to believe him when he got me my own. I found it to be an unparalleled smoking experience right out of the sock, and father-son team J.M. and Dan Boswell of Pennsylvania are to thank. J.M. was seventeen when he began working at a pipe shop in Carlisle. After five years, he’d developed enough skills to open his own store in Chambersburg. He and his son Dan crank out around 7,000 handmade pipes a year.

New pipes appear on the Boswell website at 8:00 sharp on Monday evenings. They fly off the virtual shelves at lightning speed! I’m not exaggerating when I say that it took me months of practice to train my clicking finger to act swiftly enough to secure one! When I did, I plunked down $250 for a gorgeous freehand spiral. It was my most expensive pipe -Boswell or otherwise- by a wide margin.

Of course, that’s the one that broke.

It would be unreasonable to be mad at the cats; after all, they’re just being cats! Instead, I directed my frustration inward once my stomach settled. Maybe I should have opted for a sturdier shelf to display all my pipes, or at least positioned it farther from the living room entrance. I’ve long known my cheap pipe racks from Amazon were no good, but I never bothered to replace them. Unfortunately, it’s too late for regrets. 

J.M and Dan carve some hardy pipes, but this wasn’t my first experience with a broken Boswell. Late in his life, Dad favored a Boswell Jumbo Sitter nearly the size of a saxophone. Unfortunately, my brother discovered it broken when he received Dad’s collection after he died. Dad always took meticulous care of his pipe rotation, and I always wondered if he dropped it when he passed away. 

At any rate, I’m on the horns of a dilemma. I can’t blame the cats for knocking my pipe off the rack, and I sure can’t blame the Boswells for crafting a pipe that can’t withstand an unexpected altitude reduction. Most importantly, I don’t think I can fully blame myself. I thought I made reasonable accommodations for my pipes, but it’s just one of those things. Still, I’m on the hook for an expensive pipe that can’t be smoked. It’s been gnawing at me for days. 

Thankfully, J.M. Boswell isn’t just renowned for carving pipes. He’s also an expert at repairing and restoring them, and it looks like I’ll be shipping mine to Pennsylvania for a refurbishment soon. It won’t be cheap, but I might as well send Dad’s old Jumbo in while I’m at it. It’d mean a lot to me to see his favorite restored to its former glory! I can’t blame the cats for breaking my Boswell, but I’m glad they gave me a reason to finally get Dad’s fixed. It’s another reason I love having cats around.