I’ve published five installments about how I got into pizza robots. Last I wrote, I was wrestling with the question of whether or not it was fair for me to keep them. After some soul-searching and reflection, I realized that it wasn’t. I sold them a couple weeks ago.
At first, I hoped my decision to part ways with Billy Bob and Fatz would be easy. It turned out to be anything but. I first stumbled across pizza robots as a kid. After I got over my initial disgust, the magic never left! I spent hundreds of hours absorbing skits, facts, and videos. Twenty years later, I discovered that one of the last remaining Rock-afire Explosion bands from ShowBiz Pizza lived just down the road. One visit to see them was all it took to catapult me right back into the fandom.
It didn’t take long to become fast friends with the robots’ owner and his crew of pals who kept their own ancient animatronics alive. In 2019, my new cohort bought seventeen abandoned robots from a family fun center near Chicago that was closing down. I went up to help bring them home and lucked into Billy Bob from Magic City. Later, I bought a Fatz.
Money and resources were hard to come by at first, but I poured what little I had into restoring my robots. I started by rebuilding an entire right arm from spare parts in the dining room at Odyssey Fun World. Once I got them home, I tested their air cylinders with little more than a bicycle pump and a screwdriver. I crafted new parts with a 3D printer and prayed they’d fit. I even built a box from scrap wood so Billy Bob could stand for the first time in twenty years.
I felt duty-bound to get my robots back up and running. Then I started a new job and finally could! With more money, I commissioned new masks, wardrobes, and a controller. I hammered snaps into latex, rehabilitated gummed-up air cylinders, bought a compressor, and copied fabric patterns. I even fitted each robot like a tailor.
Even if their movements weren’t perfect, my heart swelled with pride when Billy Bob and Fatz performed new shows for the first time in decades. They’d been junk; trash. Still, with help, I’d managed to bring them back to life. For a time, I felt like an adoptive father! I never thought I’d own a pizza robot, much less two, but I eventually got to the point where my limited technical skills caught up to me. I’m ashamed to say it, but other interests began to monopolize my time.
After I finished writing my pizza robots’ story, I got to thinking about where I’d been spending my time and money. Billy Bob and Fatz were already with me when I bought a pair of drones, a replacement Mac, a new MacBook, and countless other gadgets and subscriptions that helped support my love of local history. It was clear that my passions had evolved: Billy Bob and Fatz were in better shape than when I found them, but they could’ve been so much more in the right hands.
A few reached out to me about buying my robots after my post. Some were kids relying on their parents to foot the bill, while others seemed intent on tearing them up and flipping the parts. Then there was the friend who owned the entire band down the road. He’d organized the trip to Chicago where I got Fatz and Billy Bob in the first place. I took his bid under advisement and started pondering. Eventually, I realized his offer was right, and I parted ways.
My buddy picked up the robots on a sunny Sunday afternoon. Seeing him drive off was more difficult than I thought. I still feel like I abandoned them! I’ll miss owning my own pieces of animatronic history, but my friend has promised to restore them all the way and preserve their legacy. If anyone can complete the job, it’s him! I’m excited to hang out and watch Billy Bob and Fatz perform to their full potential in the future. I’ll feel a tinge of sadness if it actually happens, but I’ll smile knowing my stewardship played a major part in their revival.
