Read time: 5 min.

As a kid, Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Easter weren’t just holidays- they were major family events. There was a sacrosanct aspect, for sure, but it was more important to reconnect with distant cousins and indulge in far too much food! All too often, that meant stuffing ourselves with candy. My brother and I broke from tradition and celebrated Thanksgiving like normal people this year, but we ended it with a head-to-head showdown between Boyer’s Mallo Cup and Sifers’ Valomilk.

Our first Candy Clash featured Hershey’s 5th Avenue versus Ferrero’s Butterfinger. It quickly became one of my most popular posts! I wanted to replicate the experiment and got my chance when I spotted a pair of Valomilk cups right next to some Mallos at my favorite grocery. I’ve eaten Mallo Cups before, sure, but I’d never even seen a Valomilk. Imagine my surprise when one leaped off the shelf and into my hands just begging for a showdown.

Having been completely unaware of them, I had no idea about Valomilk’s history. As it turns out, it’s the only confection made by the Russell Sifers Candy Company. A family-run business, the firm dates back to 1903 when Samuel Mitchell Sifers began making bulk hard candy in Iola, Kansas. Sifers began producing penny marshmallows in the twenties, but one day, a batch didn’t set. To salvage it, Samuel’s son Harry dipped the gooey marshmallow into chocolate cups, giving birth to the Valomilk Dip (“V” for vanilla, “Alo” for marshmallow). The brand went away after a disastrous merger but was revived in 1985 by fourth-generation chocolatier Russell Sifers.

The Mallo Cup has a more straightforward history. Brothers Bill and Bob Boyer began producing treats like fudge and nut clusters during the Great Depression. Their experimentations with chocolate eventually led to the creation of the Mallo Cup, and it’s been on shelves ever since. After the Boyers retired in 1969, their company was sold to American Maize-Products and later to Consolidated Brands. Boyer purchased the Clark Bar in 2018, but the Mallow Cup remains the company’s most iconic confection.

John and I started our taste test with the Valomilk. Its wrapper promises “Creamy Flowing Marshmallow In Two Milk Chocolate Cups,” but we were surprised to find that the filling had already breached its outer shells. John remarked that the Valomilk’s chocolate seemed darker than the Mallo Cup’s before taking a bite. As predicted, the filling flowed out with a viscosity reminiscent of motor oil. “Structurally unsound,” John declared. I agreed, though I couldn’t decide if that was a flaw or part of the Valomilk’s charm.

The Valomilk’s chocolate did have a dark taste, which I liked, but we quickly moved on to the Mallo Cup. The packaging only drew attention to its “Whipped Creme Center,” and we noticed it was more marshmallowy than the Valomilk. “Coconut, that’s what’s in a Mallo Cup,” John said, beckoning me to bite into it. I did, and found that he was right. In all the years I’ve been stuffing Mallo Cups down my craw, I’d never realized that! I love coconut, and the Mallo Cup’s guts stood in marked contrast to the Valomilk’s prominent vanilla. I actually preferred it.

After sampling both candies, we moved on to the freestyle portion of our experiment by attacking each cup with equal enthusiasm in no particular order. By the end, we both yearned for a future in which both chocolate shells had the sturdy integrity of a Reese’s Cup. After pausing a second, John said that his usual three-bite structure for a cup candy became less and less viable as the experience progressed. I don’t have any special strategy for candy-eating myself, but I knew exactly what he meant: both chocolate shells cracked and crumbled. They scattered shards across the kitchen as their insides spread everywhere.

It should surprise no one that my brother and I make an eager and willing jury when it comes to sweets. Unfortunately, deciding a winner in this candy clash was no easy task. John wished for a mash-up of the chocolate of the Valomilk paired with the filling of the Mallo Cup. Ultimately, he sided with the underdog, Sifers’s Valomilk. As for me? I don’t like rooting for the heavyweight, but I gave my vote to the Mallo Cup thanks to its coconut filling and smoother flow.

I think we’d both be happy with either at the end of the day, and I’d gladly revisit either one next time I’m in the mood for something sickeningly-sweet. For now, though, I’d better stick closer to the produce aisle. Stay tuned for the next candy clash. I want to compare Heath vs. Skor! At the rate I’m going, though, my next post will more likely feature a showdown between some cruciferous greens.